I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Every concussion has its silver lining
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
