quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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