so that wasnt chicken after all
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
