i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
