Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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