i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
