I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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