Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I know her cup size but not her name....
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
