Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
