IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
