At least make sure they are 18
Why
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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