please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
