i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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