i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
