No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
