I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
