i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
try to milk me bitch
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