It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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