I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
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