Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
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