In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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