I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
