i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
