Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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