I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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