We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
