We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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