so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
