I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Randomize
