what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
