I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
