Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
i just had sex bonerless
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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