Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize