i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize