So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
