yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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