I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
