dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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