on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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