there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
