You were right. It hurts to walk today.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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