A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
