Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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