I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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