need another drink. this is the easiest way
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
