Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
