operation harelip BJ is a go
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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