i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
