Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
