If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
