people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
