Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize