Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
