Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
