He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
where am i from again
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize