thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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