And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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