You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
