But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
