I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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