I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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