I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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