I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
that may or may not have been my penis.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
