is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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