just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
