we have pet lesbian snakes
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
too bad you live with your parents still
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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