FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
