I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
