nut hugger
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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